Becoming More
by NothingOrdinaryJustMagic
Summary: Kate doesn't want her mother's death to define her anymore. Her wall may not be gone but neither is Castle. Will she finally let him help her bring down her wall so they can start a life together? Read and find out!
1. Chapter 1

Becoming More

Disclaimer

Although I wish I owned the lovely Becket and Castle, sadly I do not. I merely just admire the work of the writers for Castle at ABC studios =D

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><p>She wanted to be more than her mother's murder. The sniper case had hit her hard. Even though she knew how close she had come to death that fateful day at the cemetery, it didn't really hit her at full force until she saw how fast Sarah Vasquez's life was taken from her. One minute she was discussing wedding plans with her best friend and the next she was gone. She will no longer be able to float down the aisle in a white gown toward a future with her soon to be husband. Unlike Sarah, she has been given a second chance and she knew she needed to take it.<p>

The first step was accepting that she needed help because unless she truly faced her daemons, she would never be able to be the woman that she longed to be. That is why she is now sitting in her therapists' office.

Dr. Burke is sitting with his legs crossed; notepad perched on his knee waiting patiently for Kate to break the silence of his office. When she stares hesitantly at him, lip drawn between her teeth, he decides to break the ice. "What seems to have brought you back Kate? Our last session ended quite abruptly… I wasn't sure if I'd be seeing you again…"

Kate fidgeted in her seat, not sure how to begin. Talking to that sniper had really changed things for her. He let the scars of his life define him and in a way, she wasn't much different. She closed herself off to all the people who are still here and care about her and love her for her mother, who while she will never stop loving, is no longer here to love or care for her.

"I want to be more than who I am…" It comes out as a quiet confession as if she was speaking more to herself than to the man sitting across from her. She looks down at her feet, trying to find anything to look at that isn't the inquisitive eyes of her therapist but this does not stop him from pushing forward.

Dr. Burke chooses his words wisely. He knows how closed off Kate can be and the fact that she is here today to make a change is not taken lightly. He doesn't want to push but he also doesn't want to let her slink back behind the wall she has built around her emotions. "And what has brought you to this conclusion? Why now?" He sits back and waits giving her time to organize her thoughts.

Kate takes a moment to gather herself before answering his question honestly. "I… I thought that in order to move on and have a full life I had to solve my mothers' murder… But having that sniper case changed things for me. He let his anger rule him and he ruined his life and I don't want to be the same way. Through this whole case, Castle was exactly who I needed him to be for me… He didn't push, he gave me the space and time I needed to figure things out and I want to be able to be there for him in the same way… I don't want to keep him at arms' length anymore."

Dr. Burke smiles internally knowing that today, Kate has taken a big step in changing the rest of her life.

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><p>Kate walks into her apartment feeling emotionally drained but at the same time refreshed and ready to move forward. As she closes her door, she throws her keys on the table and carelessly flops down her couch. It was still fairly early in the day and Captain Gates had uncharacteristically given her off for the weekend to relax. After the long talk she had had with Dr. Burke, she couldn't decide what she wanted to do. She could either lay back on her couch and relax for the day or she could go out do something. Maybe even start living a little. After all that's what her and Dr. Burke had discussed today. He wants her to live. Even though her wall isn't totally demolished, not even a little bit, he doesn't believe that should be a reason to keep Castle at arms' length. She now realizes she doesn't have to take down the stone wall that is her heart alone anymore. Knowing exactly what she has to do next, she gets up with a determined spring in her step and starts to walk back toward her door. Right before she's about to open it though, a knock sounds on that said door. Wondering who would be visiting she swings the door open.<p>

"Castle? What are you doing here?" She says in a very surprised tone of voice. There standing before her was the man that she was just so very determined to go see. Once again they seemed to be on the same wave length because he beat her to the punch.

"Nice to see you too detective" he says with a smirk and walks past her into the apartment. Kate is about to open her mouth to say something when he interrupts. "Look I know this case was hard for you and I realize you need your space but I just wanted to come check on you to make sure your taking it easy for your weekend off…I hope I'm not over stepping my boundaries…" He has a very hesistant look on his face that makes Kate want to reach out so she can wipe away the worry lines now creasing his forehead.

Kate hesitantly steps forward and places her hand on his shoulder. "Thanks Castle. Actually I was just walking out the door to come see you. I was getting a little stir crazy here and was going to see if you wanted to hang out?" She removes her hand from his shoulder and awkwardly stands there waiting for a reply.

Castle slowly develops a grin across his face. He steps forward offering his arm to her. "Why detective, I thought you'd never ask." Kate gently puts her arm through his as they walk towards her door. "What would the lovely detective like to do on this beautiful Friday afternoon?" Grinning, Kate drags him toward the elevator knowing exactly where she wants to spend her day with him.

-TBC-

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><p>AN

So this is my first Castle story. I have sort of an idea of how I want this to play out but I'm always open to ideas from the readers. All feedback is good feedback, so tell me how you feel about this one.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer

Although I wish I owned the lovely Becket and Castle, sadly I do not. I merely just admire the work of the writers for Castle at ABC studios =D

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><p>Kate grinned widely at the expression that Castle's face now held. His bright blue eyes were shining and he had a knowing grin on his face. He looked like she had just awarded him with the most amazing present you could possibly ever receive.<p>

"We're going ice skating?" he exclaimed with more excitement than even a five year old could produce. They were now standing outside of the ice skating rink waiting to get their tickets and skates.

"Well since you only got to see one picture of me in my skates, I figure I should let you see the real thing in action. Plus its such a nice day, why waste it?" She gave him a shy smile as they started to move up in line. Castle new exactly how much ice skating meant to Kate Beckett. When her mother was still alive, she and her would go ice skating every year in the winter. It was a tradition between her and her mom that never became old. She hadn't been ice skating since that fateful year her mother was taken away from her and if there is anyone she would want to start going with again, it would be the man currently residing next to her.

She snuck a sideways glance at him to realize he was staring at her. "Castle, your staring again." She said with a playful glare.

"So what?" He replied with a smirk, knowing from their usual banter what her next response would be.

"Its creepy… there are plenty of other things to stare at around here so go start." She said turning her head back to the line in front of her. Only three more people ahead of them and they would have their tickets and skates.

"Although you are correct that there are a lot of sights to be seen around here, there is only one sight I see that can hold my attention with her beauty, and I think we all know who that would be detective." He said with the utmost honest eyes Kate has ever seen a man look at her with. Feeling like the moment was getting too serious, Kate tried to deflect the attention with some humor.

"Ah so you noticed the busty blonde ahead of us too? I thought you would." She said with a playful smirk as she moved up one more spot in line.

"Actually, no, I don't notice other women much now a days, they don't hold a candle next to you." Castle said smiling at the wide eyes Kate's face now possessed. Before she could freak out he then added with a waggle of his eye brows "although I wouldn't mind seeing the bustier side of one detective I know…"

Kate lifted an eyebrow and smirked replying "well I don't know if he'll be up for showing you that side, but I'm sure Esposito is into negotiating." And after that, to Kate's relief, they were back to their normal banter.

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><p>After a couple of rounds around the rink watching Castle struggle on the wall, Kate decided to give in and help him skate. Castle was currently clingly to the skating rink wall trying to keep his balance while little kids of ages no older than 4 or 5 skated past him. As funny and adorable as he looked, she just couldn't watch any longer, so she slowly started to skate towards him.<p>

When the distance between them was almost gone, Castle lifted his head, their eyes instantly locking as she gracefully skated toward him. It was like he knew she was coming, like she was the only one that he ever noticed anymore. He had the brightest smile she had ever seen on him and his shoulders instantly relaxed when he saw her coming towards him. It was scary and overwhelming how much she could see the love he had for her radiating from his face, but as much as it scared her, it equally warmed her heart because she couldn't lie to herself and say she didn't love him back. Castle then started to try to skate towards her and as he did, he started to slip again and she was there to catch him before he fell. She then knew she would never love anyone as much as she loved the goofy, caring man she was now holding in her arms.

"Hey there Castle, don't get ahead of yourself" she said with a smirk as she held him up with her arm wrapped around his arm and skated back to the wall.

"Well I saw a beautiful woman skating towards me and my feet couldn't control themselves, they wanted to get to you more quickly" he replied with a playful grin that made her blush.

"Well Castle I'm here now so why don't we try and get you skating around away from this wall, shall we?" she responded with a smile and extended her hand towards him. He eagerly took her hand but still would not let go of the wall. "Don't worry Castle, I won't let you fall" she smirked.

"Too late for that Kate, I fell along time ago…" He answered in return with a much too serious look on his face. Kate stared into his eyes for what felt like an eternity and then slowly looked down, letting her hair fall in front of her face. Instead of responding to his openness, Kate decided to surpass that statement and pull him off the wall with her hand in his.

"Come on Castle, lets get you skating." Grabbing both of his hands, Kate started skating backwards pulling him along with her. They made it around the rink a few times doing this, with Castle slowly getting the hang of the ice. By the fourth time around, Castle was able to skate with Kate, only holding one hand, side by side.

"So detective, have you thought about who your taking to Kevin and Jenny's wedding? I'm sure a woman as beautiful as yourself is beating off men with a stick." Castle says with a boyish grin while trying to keep his footing on the ice.

"I'm actually flying solo. Not really interested in having to entertain a date ya know? Just want to go and have fun with my friends." She shyly replies, looking down letting her hair fall in front of her face to hide the embarrassment of not having a date. Castle reaches over and pushes her hair back behind her ear causing her to have to look him in the eyes. "Kate, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Believe me if you wanted a date, you wouldn't have any trouble finding one. Besides, I'm flying solo too…. Maybe we can fly solo together?" He looks at her with kind but what looks like hesitant eyes. She can tell that he's afraid she's going to turn him down and she feels awful that he feels that insecurely with her.

"Are you asking me out a date Castle?" She says with a knowing smirk trying to lighten the mood and ease his insecurities.

"That depends on your answer Beckett…" He says and stops skating suddenly trying to turn towards her. His plan goes terribly wrong when his leg gets tangled between hers as he turns and starts to fall. Kate tries to stop him from falling but in the end there was no saving either of them. They both fell (in more than one way) tumbling down onto to the ice, Kate landing flat on Castle's chest in one big thump. Kate looks down at his face and then starts hysterical laughing which in turn caused Castle to laugh along with her. In between his laughs Castle says "so … what's … your… answer?"

Kate then looks at him square in the eye and says "Come on Castle, Don't want my date getting frost bite from laying on this ice… I need you in dancing condition for the wedding…." and with that she slowly gets up and skates toward the exit of the rink, leaving Castle sitting up on the ice with the biggest grin he has ever worn since the birth of his daughter. He was going on a date with Kate Beckett in exactly one week from today. BEST DAY EVER!

TBC

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><p>AN

So this is chapter two! Sorry it took longer than I wanted it to. Reviews are greatly appreciated so please do so when you can! Thank you for all the alerts and favorites… they are also greatly appreciated and never forgotten!


	3. Chapter 3

Becoming More- Chapter 3

Its been one week since Kate accepted Castle's offer to be her date. Now the day was here and she was internally freaking out.

Pacing back and forth in her living room, she couldn't help but think how this would change things. Is this the first step to becoming something more? And if so, is she ready for that to happen? What if they didn't work out? Now only would she lose a friend but she would lose the best partner she's ever had.

All these thoughts ran through her head like a song set to replay over and over again. A loud knock interrupted her thoughts before she could freak herself out more.

Walking over to the door, Kate first checked the peephole (force of habit) seeing that it indeed was Lanie. They had decided to get ready for the wedding together to "make sure she doesn't chicken out and play sick" according to Lanie.

Kate takes a deep breath, plastering on a smile and answers the door. "Hey Lanie, glad you could make it" she says with false excitement.

"Girl, you better quit it with the attitude or I'm a smack you!" She replied crossing her arms across her chest and plastering on a "I take no shit" look on her face.

"Ugh Lanie I'm freaking out okay. I think accepting Castle's offer was a big mistake… What if this means something bigger to him than just being his date to a wedding?" Kate spoke with her eyes looking down at the floor, crossing and uncrossing her arms. She looked, well she looked like a nervous love struck puppy.

Lanie knew this look well. Kate was scared and although she says that she isn't ready for what she thinks might happen with Castle, Lanie can see, that behind Kate's eyes, she's more scared that Castle won't push to be more. "Kate, look at me." Kate shifts from foot to foot, avoiding Lanie's eyes. Lanie then reaches out and pulls Kate into a comforting hug. "Listen sweetie, I know you may not want to hear this but someone has to be the one to push you. Whether your ready to admit this or not, you love that man. I can see it in your eyes every time you look at him. I can hear it in your voice every time you talk about him. God girl, even your bodies are drawn to each other like magnets when your trying your best to stay apart. Stop fighting what you have with him. There are people who live there whole lives waiting to find their other half, and you found him. All you have to do is jump…"

Kate slowly looked up at Lanie. Tears were now streaming down her face, and there was a damp spot on Lanie's shoulder where Kate had taken comfort in Lanie's embrace. Why couldn't she just admit that she loved Castle and dive in? She knows Castle loves her. She's known since that fateful day at the cemetery. Even thinking back to that day, laying in the grass bleeding out, all she can think of is how, in that moment, she had never felt so much love in her life. It was what kept her going. It was what pulled her through. If Rick hadn't stormed into her life the way he had, she isn't quite sure whether she'd still be standing here today. That thought brought her back to the present. She knew what she needed to do. She needed to stop testing the water with her toes and just jump in.

Kate grabbed Lanie and hugged her so fiercely it started the poor M.E. "Your right Lanie. Your so damn right. I have wasted so much time and today is the day that stops. I love him. I love Richard Castle. No I love Richard Alexander Rogers and I'm taking the leap."

When Lanie pulled back to look at Kate, Kate wore the biggest smile she had ever seen the girl allow. She looked, well she looked in love, like something just clicked, and all the missing puzzle pieces finally came into existence and put themselves together. She was glowing, her shoulders were no longer tense, and her energy surrounding her just screamed relaxed. Lanie had never been more happy for her friend, then she looked down at her clothes and frowned.

"Lanie what's wrong?" Kate saw the frown and immediately wore a worried face to match.

"Girl, look at you. The Wedding is in 3 hours and you look a mess! We need to get some Cinderella action up in here and get you read for the ball!" With that both women started to laugh as Kate lightly slapped Lanie's arm.

"Come on, lets go start getting pretty, we have some very important men to impress" Lanie lifted her eyebrow as if saying "men?" Kate just shook her head and said "Come on lets get moving." and together the two women started to get ready, chatting about hairstyles and dress options for the event.

A/N

I am so sorry that this chapter is so late! I'm an English major in college and seeing as the semester is started, well, there hasn't been much time to write for pleasure. On that note here is the 3rd chapter. I wanted this to be longer but I also wanted to have something posted for whoever is reading this so I don't lose your interest! I am already in the process of outlining chapter four so I promise the wait wont be nearly as long this time! On another note I just wanted to let you know that if any of you readers/writers out there have a twitter account feel free to follow me **LifeOnThePage** . I also just started a blog for my own original short stories/poems. Look me up, read, comment, follow. **NothingOrdinaryJustMagic(DOT)Wordpress(DOT)com**.

Thank you so much to everyone who read, reviewed, alerted, favorited, and followed me and this story. Its really encouraging to hear as an aspiring writer!

(P.S. this isn't really proof read very well so sorry for any grammatical errors!)


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